For the Fear of Falling
by stoneygem
Summary: Minerva is a teenager now and her mother must realize that now the time his come, when the future turns to light or to doom.


A/N: The muse was upon me again. A short POV-fic. 

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing….The things familiar from "harry Potter" belong to JKR and all assorted. The names of Minerva's parents were invented by Isis Malfoy. I just hijacked them and incorporated them into my universe for good.

Dedication: I might not say it often enough, but a thank you and several huge glomps to my dear beta, Dame M! You rock….

For the Fear of Falling 

By Stoneygem

"Mama? Are you in there?"

I raised my eyes from my book towards the door as I heard the voice of my youngest daughter outside. "Yes. Come in, agapi mou." I called and the door opened silently. I could not hide a small proud smile at the side of my little girl, but it quickly disappeared as I saw the look on her face. Such a pensive look on my baby girl's face was unknown to me. Minerva was a headstrong and centered girl, she didn't have such moments. Those fell more in Peri's area.

Putting my book on the side table I extended my hand to her, beckoning her to come closer. Hesitantly, she took it and settled herself on the footrest in front of my armchair. She looked around the room nervously as if to check to see if we were alone and if it was safe for her to be here. Of course, she tried to cover it up, but I knew that look too well. Horus always did that, when we went to a place we hadn't been to before. While holding Minerva's oddly cold hand in mine, I stroked her hair with my other hand.

At the contact, she startled and looked into my face with barely concealed nervousness and a hint of anger. Now I was worried. Minerva rarely lost her temper, which came from the fact that her temper was too dangerous to be let loose. I knew, because she had inherited from me. But Minerva always kept a tight control over herself, especially around me. Nervousness was so un-Minerva. 

I had to find out what was going on. "What is it, agapi mou?" I asked. "What keeps you in the house, when you could have an impromtu Quidditich-match with your siblings? You never miss one."

A small smile flicked over my baby girl's face and made me smile as well. Taking advantage of the apparently improving situation, I asked again. "What is the matter with you, love?"

She sobered immediately. When she pulled her hand away from mine and started twisting it with the other in her lap, I almost screamed in frustration. My youngest might have inherited my temper, but she certainly had gotten the stubbornness and this being tight-lipped from her father. Horus could make me pound on him in frustration until he finally came out with what was bothering him.

Finally. Finally, after what seemed like hours to me, but were mere seconds, Minerva spoke. "Mum? Can I ask you a personal question?" 

My eyes went wide. This was serious. Minerva valued her own privacy very much and as a result had almost an obsession with that of other people, even of her family. 

I continued to stroke her hair, which she wore in a much more womanly fashion lately, as I suddenly realized, and smiled reassuringly at her. "Of course, you can, agapi mou. You can ask me anything and I will try to answer."

Minerva took a deep breath, as if to encourage herself, and then looked up at me. Then she took another deep breath. "Mum, how was it when you fell in love for the first time?"

I was silent. I wasn't even breathing. I had not heard this question just now. With huge effort I finally managed to choke out: "Pardon?"

My girl had paled with every second since her question was asked and now quickly rose from her seat at my feet. "I am very sorry, Mother. I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry." She turned and was about to flee from the room, but I caught her hand swiftly. "No, love. There is no need to be sorry. It is alright. I was just surprised at your question."

Surprised? Surprised? I wasn't surprised. I was shocked and I was terrified, but not surprised. After all, my little girl was 17 now and bound to have at least a crush by now.

I rose from my chair and led her over to the sofa in front of the fireplace, where I sat down and invited her to snuggle up to me. It was an odd and yet very comforting feeling having my youngest daughter snuggle up. It gave me such a warm feeling having my baby so close to me. It had been so long since she was an infant and yet it seemed like yesterday.

"Are you in love, agapi mou? Do you love somebody?" I asked gently, carefully masking the tone of fear in my voice.

My girl shrugged in my arms. "I'm not sure. I have never been in love. How shall I know what it feels like?"

I had to smile at that. Trust Minerva to put it so logically. So practically. But that didn't get me any closer to the answer I needed. "Is there somebody who has caught your interest then?"

She hesitated, I could feel it, but finally answered. "Yes. There is someone."

"And?" I prodded. 

"I don't know."

"How do you feel about him? Or better, how does he make you feel?"

Minerva sighed and I felt a knot form in my stomach. "I...he...when he's near me, I feel so alive. As if I could do everything and as if everything was possible. I feel warm and at home when he's near. But I also feel excited and nervous. When he smiles at me, it is as if the world around us dissolves. I search for words and can't find any, but he seems to understand just as well." She shrugged. "I don't know. The girls said that when you are in love, you have butterflies in your stomach and your knees go weak and all that. But the closest I come to that is feeling as if I could fly when he touches me."

I tightened my hold on her, praying that she was talking about the right person. Or better, that she wasn't talking about the wrong person.

"Do you think I am in love, Mum?"

She looked up at me with such trust in her eyes that I had to control myself not to break into tears. I had feared that this day would come. I had been afraid of this day and finally it was here. My baby girl was in love. She was indeed...and her answer to my next question would either take my greatest fear away or make me realize that doom was upon us.

I wasn't worried so much about what Horus or the boys would say or how they would treat the man who dared to put his fingers on their precious princess. They had done so with the other two as well. Contemplating, my eyes fell onto the painting that hung next to the fireplace. A copy of the one that hung in Horus' office to show off his greatest treasure, as he said. The painting showed me and our three daughters. All of us blessed with long ebony waves of hair, pale skin and a good figure. All of us generally referred to as beauties. 

Our girls looked a lot alike in the picture, but still their different personalities showed. Diana, the middle one. Outgoing, wild, sexy Diana. We should have named her Venus, for it was like a Goddess of Love that she acted. Then Peri, our oldest, with her Mona Lisa smile. Quiet, sedate, introverted Peri. The first true seer ever to be born among the century-old McGonagall clan.    My beloved Horus liked to say that this talent had come from me. It was nonsense, of course. I had no magic ability whatsoever. I was a muggle. My only talent was in adapting to the ways of my surroundings. 

But when I was truly honest with myself, I had to admit that my husband was right. I happened to have visions of the future. And one of my visions had showed me that my greatest worry had to be about my youngest. Not about Diana, who wasn't too talented in magic, but more in getting herself into trouble. Not about Peri, who with her seeing talent was more vulnerable than the others.

No, I worried about Minerva, the most appropriately named of our children. The painting showed it. Though she was beautiful like her sisters, there was always some aura of secrecy and danger around her. Maybe it was the power radiating from her. Our youngest was by far the most talented and powerful of our children - probably of the whole clan, and probably the most powerful for several generations. She already overtook her father, who was by all means a strong wizard, in her abilities. Horus often fondly said that with her talent and power, Minerva could become a decisive factor in the wizarding world.

It scared me to think how right he could be. My vision had shown me that our daughter would indeed become a decisive factor in the wizarding world - and it hung only on a thin thread, as to whether it would be a positive factor or a negative one. A very negative ...and a very dark one. 

My vision had told me that one day she would fall in love and her first love would keep her forever. As a woman who had been happily married for so many years to her first real love, it was all I could wish for her. But the two men I had seen....

Both very powerful wizards. One of them a man of Light. Of good and of a bright future. The other, not yet fully dark. But he would be and then his presence could be the doom of all. It would be my daughter to make the difference. Both men would utilize her power, I knew, just as well as I knew that she would never question this - out of love, loyalty and conviction to the cause. But it would be her powers joined with those of her chosen one, that would decide.

Therefore, I had feared this day. I always hoped that there would be no question. That she would come across only one of them, but I had been wrong of course, just like my vision had told me. Both men were around her and both had to be blind not to see what she offered: beauty, brains and power. And both had seen, that much I knew from Horus' friends at the school. 

The younger of the two openly showed his infatuation. The other didn't let on, at least not openly. But then, he was a teacher and it was hardly prudent for him to be openly attracted to a student. Even if it was the Head Girl and star student.

But if I was honest, I would have preferred the imprudence of one over the insinuation of the other option.

"Mum? Mum? Did you hear me?" A hand stroking my cheek and another gently shaking my shoulder brought me back to reality. A reality where I had to face the answer still.

I plastered a smile on my face, though inwardly I felt how shaky it was. I kissed my girl on the top of her head and said. "Yes, love. I think you are very much in love. You know, love looks different for everybody and just because the others say it has to be so and so, doesn't mean that it has to be for you. Maybe that is what attracted you to this boy in the first place."

"Mum, did you listen to me at all?" The frown on her face grew larger. 

I did a double take. Had my worries occupied me so much that I didn't even hear my girl talking? I tried to cover this up, though I was rather sure that Minerva would see right through it. "What do you mean?"

Of course, her eyebrows rose at my question and I smiled inwardly. I could never trick that one. Even as a baby our youngest had been too smart to fall for any trick.

"I told you, he was not a boy. I figured that I feel my love for him like that, it's because he is so much older." She heaved a sigh. "If I only knew if he had feelings for me as well." Before I could comment, she rambled on. "Of course, I know that he is much too noble to openly approach me. And it would be highly imprudent and a scandal as well, but I can't help it. I wish he'd give me a sign. Any sign."

"Well, maybe he is afraid that you don't share his feelings." I counselled, the knot in my stomach tightening with each second. How could I counsel my daughter to pursue a relationship that could possibly send all of us to doom? After all, if she had chosen the wrong man… "Men are insecure as well, agapi mou. Maybe you need to give him a sign."

Oh, dear Hera, please help me that I don't make a big mistake here. Oh Hera, Goddess of mothers, help me.

Minerva's voice sounded exasperated. "Mum, I can't do that. I just can't march up to him and say...nice to see you today and by the way, you can court me, because I am in love with you already. Mum, I can't do that. It would be highly imprudent."

My brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean, love?" Her face was a mask of exasperation. And then it came to me. Much older? Scandal? Too noble? "Min, exactly with whom are you in love?"

She blushed to a deep crimson and somehow I felt a bubble of happiness coming out of that knot in my stomach.

Finally, she muttered almost inaudibly: "With Professor Dumbledore."

The bubble inside me burst like huge fireworks. Dumbledore! She loved Dumbledore! Oh dear Hera, Goddess of mothers, I thank you. Next time I am near one of your temples I will bring you a sacrifice. No, I will bring you many sacrifices. I will even build you a new temple, but thank you, thank you, thank you. Dumbledore, my baby girl loved Dumbledore.

The squeeze of my hand cut my mantra short and I met the worried eyes of my youngest daughter. "You are not telling anyone about this, Mum, especially not Papa. Please, promise me." 

I smiled reassuringly. "Of course not, agapi mou. You secret is safe with me." She breathed a sigh of relief. My expression turned stern then. "Though you do understand that due to the fact that it is Professor Dumbledore, I have to demand that you refrain from any pursuit of these feelings. At least until you have graduated. I am sure Professor Dumbledore, if he returns your feelings, will think along the same line. It is not only imprudent to make a move on a student, but illegal as well. The scandal could ruin his career. And your future. He will keep that in mind. You should do the same, my child."

Minerva's expression had turned very sad. "I know that, Mum. And I promise that I won't do anything stupid. It's just that it's so hard being around him and not to be able to show him how I feel."

I smiled at that. Did that ever sound familiar. "I know it is hard, love. I have been in the same situation once."

She smiled as well. "Yes, I know. With Papa."

My smile became wider. "Never forget how that story ended, agapi mou. When it becomes too hard, think of us."

She got up, out of my embrace and then leaned down to kiss me on the cheek. "Thank you, Mum. I'll keep that in mind."

When she was almost at the door, she turned around once more and I marvelled once again over the perfect creature Horus and I had produced out of our love. "Thank you for listening, Mum. Se agapo."

"I love you too, my baby."

She opened the door and left and once again, I was left alone in the room with my thoughts. I stared at the painting next to the fireplace for a long time and suddenly couldn't help it anymore. I threw my head back and started to laugh. 

~~~

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